Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
