i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize