i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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