i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
