The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
