I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
