so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
