hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
