Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
