Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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