I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
