I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
