put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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