Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
