In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We had to coat check the pizza.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
