Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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