I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
