Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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