PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
