sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
