Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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