I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
