That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
