no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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