Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
