Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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