I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
