You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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