so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
