Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize