i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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