Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
