Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
