real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
