Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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