I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
