3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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