Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
