he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
