I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
