I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
