I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
