fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
