You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize