Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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