bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
