Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
