just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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