Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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