quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize