we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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