yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
