Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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