Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
