Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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