Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Farmville is her only friend.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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