quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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