I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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