she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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