I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i now understand why vodka
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
