I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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