Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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